How to Create a Comfort Corner at Home

A comfort corner is a refuge or safe space for children to go to calm down, reflect, or practice mindfulness. This space should not be confused with time out and should never be used for punishment! It is a proactive measure that will help children deescalate when their distress is elevating. Children should be encouraged to enjoy this area regularly and not just when they are upset. Parents may increase a child's enjoyment of this space by playing with him or her in the space often. Parents and children may read about emotions there, practice deep breathing, stretching (yoga), or visualizing comforting places. A comfort corner may be helpful in multiple environments, including home, school, and wherever the child is cared for regularly (such as the home of a grandparent or other caregiver).

Comfort corners may be literally a corner in a child's room with pillows, a bean bag chair, soft things to hold, and some books to look at. Some form of reduced stimulation offered by a tent or blanket fort is comforting. Some children like their space to be very contained such as behind the sofa or in a large closet space. (Children should be observable and never enclosed in a closet or room behind closed doors). Children who have sensory sensitivities may benefit from particular elements such as chew sticks, a tent, fidgets, a weighted vest/blanket/toy, therapy balls, or even a swing. Most children enjoy having their comfort corner personalized to make it their own. This should be encouraged.

Many cues signal the escalation of mood. Children should be encouraged to tune in to their bodies, thoughts, and behavior before they get too upset to calm down. Stress is most manageable before the child is too aroused. Parents can help children tune in by saying what they are observing, validating the child's distress, and inquiring about thoughts and feelings. Never tell a child what they are feeling, ask them how they feel. If they don't know, say what you are observing and use wondering questions such as "I wonder if you have some angry feelings?" Then redirect the child to the comfort corner to think things over and calm down. It is okay for parents to join the child in the corner because this is not time out. However, parents should send the message that it is the child's job to calm him or herself down. Then leave them to their thoughts.

The calming corner may have either a visual chart of calming strategies or a listing of helpful things to do. A children's yoga chart may be an excellent addition. Praise the child for using the comfort space when he or she is upset.