Why Mommy Drinks Too Much…

In the early part of the last century the bar was no place a respectable woman would be seen (or allowed). Gradually as women fought for equal rights they were allowed access to watering holes with the boys. The increase of college admission for females was another trend that initiated women as drinkers.  Girls were away from home and there were sorority parties and co-ed “mixers” to explore, which included libation.  While drinking was long regarded glamorous in cinema and among “flappers’ during prohibition, it was not common among middle- and working class women in the past. And drinking was not well regarded at all once a woman became a mother; but this changed. In her book Her Best Kept Secret, Gabrielle Glaser traces the history of women and drinking along with the astonishing increase of alcohol use (especially white wine) among today’s mothers. Women buy two thirds of the wine that is sold in the US and consume 70 percent of what they put in the shopping cart, according to Glazer’s research. You’ve come a long way baby.

      Acceptance of female drinking began after World War II. Women had a taste of working outside of the home as “Rosie the Riveters” took up the slack of deployed men. In the 1950’s cocktail culture proliferated with cocktail attire and fancy bar accoutrements (Mad Men culture). Then came the 60’s and 70’s and let’s just say things loosened up. While many women turned to prescription medication, (“mother’s little helper”) it was more of a hassle to score than booze. Along with this shift came a strong effort from California wine manufacturers to increase consumption of their product by the ones who did the shopping (Mom). The benefits of wine for health, cooking, and a taste of the continental life were actively promoted.

      As women’s education and careers advanced they were initiated into the same stressful circumstances as their male counterparts, without the same pay or advancement. Women with families not only had workplace demands but also the lion’s share of housework and childcare to deal with (these trends continue today).  In the business world, deals and career advancements are sealed over drinks, so ambitious women bent an elbow with the boys. At the same time as women were advancing in the work world, alcohol was increasingly being promoted as sexy and stylish. Women’s magazines promoted wine as healthy and a slim alternative to other drinks. Wine consumption doubled from the 1970’s to the 1980’s and a good deal of this increase was driven by women.

      Women today have great opportunities and continue to advance professionally. Many women bear the intense demand of working and parenting. The expectations of the past regarding housekeeping (thanks, Martha Stewart) and style have not eased as a result of professional success. In fact parenting expectations have intensified. Helicopter mothers compete with like minded neighbors to obtain the best school placements, sports teams, and college application fodder they can to ensure their child’s success. Add in the pressure of having to do this and be fit, serve unprocessed food, chair the benefit luncheon, and have great sex. Many feel unaccomplished, unfulfilled and invisible. Wine is a ready remedy, but at a cost.

      Women are drinking more now than at any point in history due to social trends, marketing, and stress. The negative effects of alcohol such as liver damage, psychological compromise (such as depression), and the increased risk of breast cancer are significant. Many are surprised to learn that unhealthy drinking for women is more than nine drinks per week and more than three drinks on one occasion (one drink is 4 ounces of wine, not a Cougar Town goblet). However the treatment options for women are limited relative to male drinkers. Traditional twelve step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that emphasize powerlessness are not appealing to women who already feel that way. Moreover, women face more negative stigma than men who admit they have a drinking problem, so going to a meeting is not an attractive option. However, there are programs now that specialize in treating women, medications to treat craving such as naltrexone, and moderation management programs for women who want to learn to drink less but not abstain (although this is not recommended for everyone).  There are also web based support groups such as www.moderation.org. Learning to cope with stress in a healthy way is part of evolving. No woman should feel ashamed if she has developed a maladaptive habit like drinking too much. Change is possible and can lead to the next level of each woman’s quality of life. In the process, the next generation may learn how to handle stress without alcohol.